Getting people’s approval is always nice. However, now you can happily achieve success without guilt, apology, or fear of other people.
Imposter Syndrome is a very real and sometimes debilitating syndrome that affects a lot of people, often unwittingly. Imposter Syndrome is a term used to explain the continual sensation that one is undeserving of one’s own accomplishments. In addition, there is sometimes a fear that when they achieve success, others might perceive them as a fraud.
People with this syndrome are typically hesitant to claim credit for their successes. Further, they may even fear scorn and exposure of their unworthiness by others.
We’ve all met the guy at work who makes self-deprecating jokes about his work performance. He does this whenever his employee of the month plaque is mentioned. As a result of his or her hard work, they may be deserving of the distinction.
However, they often may feel unworthy of the recognition. In addition, they may fear that others will feel the same way. How many of us can identify with this situation?
Suppose you’ve been given a gift and worked hard to achieve success in your goals, why shouldn’t you enjoy the benefits of your labor without apology? Here’s how to do it.
1. First, stop comparing yourself to others.
Each of us has unique qualities, abilities, and gifts.
When you constantly compare your achievement to that of others, you are robbing yourself of the opportunity to shine.
Do what you do, and do it well.
2. Next, accept that we are all a “Work in Progress.”
There was a graduate student nearing the completion of her dissertation. She was still afraid that others in the area would dismiss her work as inadequate. This was after three years of data analysis, arduous research, and months of writing. Even now, she’s a little nervous when people ask her to use her study findings.
This is because she’s afraid someone will disagree or call them invalid. Therefore, it’s important to remember that every study (and every researcher) has a margin of error.
To put it another way, no one is flawless. People have diverse points of view, and those points of view don’t always mesh well. In other words, success is relative.
Have you ever noticed how every week the morning news broadcasts a fresh scientific finding? What is considered healthy today may be deemed unhealthy tomorrow. However, this does not imply that the original research (or the researcher) was fraudulent.
Simply recognize that times and people grow and change. That’s normal. Accept it and move on.
3. Take compliments in stride.
Pats on the back aren’t given out lightly.
If you’re getting compliments on your achievements or performance by those around you, you’re probably doing a fantastic job. Don’t be afraid to claim it!
4. Acquire the ability to validate yourself and your success.
It’s always wonderful to receive recognition. However, external validation should not be your exclusive criterion for success.
Consider yourself validated whenever you experience that warm and fuzzy feeling that comes with achieving a personal goal. Additionally, give yourself credit whenever you put your heart and soul into something significant.
After that, if others happen to recognize your brilliance, that’s even better!
5. Pay attention to how your work affects the people around you, rather than what others think of you and your success.
A counselor for inmates at a maximum-security prison had the responsibility to provide comments at parole hearings. This was done in order to help evaluate whether or not they were ready for release.
This, of course, meant that she wasn’t always the most popular person in the room. She disliked being the “bad guy.” However, she took comfort in knowing that her efforts were helping to protect others.
All that matters is that you can say that you contributed to making the world a better place. Take credit for it. No apologies are necessary.
6. Play your part well…until success becomes natural.
One thing about life is that the higher you raise your head, the more powerful you appear to others.
How can you expect anyone else to think you’re worth it if you don’t think you’re worth it?
There will always be days when your confidence isn’t at its peak. However, attitude is key. You’ll be astonished at how much better you’ll feel…and how others will react if you play your part.
Do your best to act the part of someone who appreciates their own worth. Soon enough, you will realize it.
7. There’s no shame in communicating your feelings to someone you trust.
You’ll almost certainly discover that you’re not alone. Remember that you are your own worst critic, so don’t be so harsh with yourself.
Therefore, learn to achieve success without feeling guilty or apologizing!
Without fear or guilt, take pride in your successes. Celebrate them. In addition, strive towards new heights without feeling compelled to hide behind others.
This, however, does not mean arrogance or exaggerated pride. This is, rather, a simple acceptance of one’s worth and importance. There’s no need to apologize for that!