Editorial Right on Target

The press release Ken Magill excerpted in his editorial (iMarketing News, March 26) was an example of incomprehensible writing that deserved his criticism.

William Lutz, author of “Doublespeak” and presenter of the Doublespeak Award, would have enjoyed that as an example of the “language of nonresponsibility, carefully constructed to appear to communicate.”

He defined doublespeak as academic BS, euphemism, jargon, gobbledygook and inflated language.

My experience in grant writing has taught me that the quantity of doublespeak is directly related to the number of grants awarded to my clients and the dollar amount of the awards. Too many members of grant-review committees just say yes to proposals written in doublespeak, probably because they don’t want to appear unable to understand the jargon. And when the time comes to write a report on the results of the work funded with grant money, they just continue to write doublespeak. The “evaluation committee” will be satisfied that its money was wisely spent on something they didn’t understand. But they have piles of “documentation” for “funding justification.” We call that CYA, don’t we?

Bye, for now. I have things to do.

I need to call “directory assistance” (information), then operate my “oral hygiene appliance” (toothbrush), insert my “digital fever computer” (thermometer), stand on my “ultra-thin microelectric mass sensor” (bathroom scale) and take a bath in my “body cleaning system” (bathtub) using “body wash” (liquid soap). Later I will read and try to understand the “energy documents” (monthly bill) from my electric company. A friend sent me a “social expression document” (get-well card). My fountain pen has gone dry and I need “writing fluid” (ink). Tonight I’ll go to the movies and buy candy and popcorn at the “patron-assistance center” (refreshment stand). I need a new wristwatch, so I’ll look in Seiko’s catalog for a “personal time-control center.”

Natura enim simplex est! (Nature is pleased with simplicity.)

We should be keeping it that way.

Joe Luciano, Owner/ president, Joe Luciano Marketing, West Haven, CT

[email protected]

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