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Cracking the Voter Vault

I received a letter from the Republican National Committee a few days ago thanking me for my continued support of the GOP. I nearly gagged. “President Bush has told me what a great friend you’ve been to him over the last several years. And all of us in the party appreciate what you’ve done to elect Republicans, help us cut taxes and defend our freedoms,” wrote RNC finance chairman Mercer Reynolds.

Too bad. I have never given a dime to any Republican cause and I haven’t been a registered Republican in 20 years. Yes, I guess you can lump me in with the rest of the liberal media. Which is why I can’t figure out where the RNC’s sudden interest in me is coming from. If they’re hoping to sway me back to the fold, it’s not going to work. I thought “Fahrenheit 9/11” was quite convincing.

A few months ago, I received a “signed” photograph of George Bush showing his appreciation to me, Mr. Tad Clarke, for my support of the RNC. It even included a photo number – 511756490 – in an attempt to make the picture look more official. (Do Republicans really fall for stuff like this?) Since I have received only one letter from John Kerry and the Democratic National Committee, all this right-wing interest is enough to make me wonder whether I’m still registered as a Democrat, much to the chagrin of my very Republican family. How Republican are they? My father used to own a newspaper in Kansas called the Jetmore Republican.

These mailings also make me question whether this is something more than a hiccup in the RNC’s Voter Vault database. Now don’t all you Republicans get bent out of shape, because I’m sure the DNC has similar problems with its Demzilla database. The Charlotte Observer also wrote about some misdirected mail pieces to North Carolinians and quoted Bush campaign spokesman Reed Dickens as saying, “I don’t think it’s a matter of party affiliation as much as it is information you have on those neighborhoods or addresses that may suggest that that person’s values would likely line up with those of George W. Bush.”

I don’t see how Dickens’ answer could possibly apply to me since I live in New York City, one of the most Democratic cities in the country. Or maybe it’s because the GOP will have its convention here next month. Whatever the case, if the Republicans think their mailings to the Clarke household will swing my vote, they can keep wasting, er, sending me all they want.


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