The day Brangelina destroyed e-commerce

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Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie

The debate over whether consumers prefer to shop online or by catalog was dealt a decisive verdict this week. Intellectual luminary Angelina Jolie came down hard on e-commerce in a rather frank discussion with USA Today about such weighty topics as the Bosnian War, child adoption and Billy Bob Thornton's disgusting blood.

When asked if she did her Christmas shopping online, Jolie brought the digital world to its knees with the following judgment:

“Brad and I were on Amazon.com for the first time a week ago. But we got lost. After an hour, we just shut it off. My brain is too scattered and the wires go in different directions. I'll stick to catalogs.”

Somewhere Jeff Bezos is in the fetal position, sucking his thumb, wondering if he should have stuck to lemonade stands.

For those of us who actually do our own Christmas shopping (as opposed to Brangelina, who hire a supervisor to hire a maid to hire a servant to order from the most-recent LL Bean catalog) the National Retail Federation released some interesting numbers this morning regarding standard shipping deadlines for Christmas delivery.

According to the NRF, 87% of retailers' standard shipping* deadlines for Christmas delivery will expire before or on Tuesday, Dec. 20.  More than 5% of retailers will offer upgraded expedited shipping promotions up until Dec 23. Ninety-five percent of free standard shipping promotions will expire on or before Dec. 20.

But who cares, right? Amazon is too confusing.

I'm going to go now. My brain is too scattered to continue typing.

*Standard shipping does not include the Pursat region of the Kingdom of Cambodia or the Lindi Rural region of The United Republic of Tanzania.

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